30/07/2017

You're leaving me here. Alone. Suffering.
Why must you leave...?
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I'm all alone... I don't know anymore.
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Will I be okay?
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This is painful...
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I... regret everything.

Another (Un)Ordinary Day (27/07)

I have no idea why I'm writing this...

The thing is, I...am extremely in love, and, God knows that being apart like this is suffocating.

Well, it's not like we're seeing each other and all, but... well... yea this is only an unrequited love.

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...I saw him today. I was extremely happy. My heart flutters whenever I see his face.

Ah, it's been too long since I've experienced a feeling this deep.

They say that being interested in someone for more than six months(?) means that it is not a feeling of liking or interest, it is the feeling of love. Welp, can't agree more on that one.

I've been loving you for more than two years now.

Loving you in silence.

Loving you in my dreams.

Loving you in my prayers.

Worrying about your condition every single day.

Yeah, I was happy when I saw you today.

It was unexpectedly dramatic, as when I turned around, I saw your face.

My heart raced like crazy, really.

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I wish you'll be okay. 

I wish that one day this love will be returned... I hope we'll unite one day.

For now, I pray for you and I'll meet you in my dreams.

Sincerely,

Your secret admirer

An Ordinary Summer Night

Even though it says so... Like every night, it is painful.

The stars are very bright tonight... A stream of happiness fills my heart, but vanished in an instant. In it's place, hollow despair.

Despair...

My failures...

I wish I could escape these chains binding me. My wings have been torn off, and I don't think that they'll ever grow again...

I want to breakaway, I want to run, fly away. This is not my place, and yet, God has placed me here. An oddball. Me, just me alone. Of course, no one would understand me. I couldn't talk to anyone about my passion. 

Why?

Why....can't I get what I want...

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I love the stars and all, and yes, they're my best-best friend, but looking at them somehow makes me feel...useless. I have no idea why... maybe I was reminded about how our bodies were made from stardust? I haven't a clue..

In nights like these, I think of you... Unconsciously, you come to my mind when I'm idle. I hate it. 

We're really similar you know... That's probably why...

I love you... oh so much.

Even till now, even when we're apart, even when I know...

Another star's twinkling ever so brightly in your heart.

Yeah, I know. I'm a masochist.

But I can't help it.

God, I really really love you. I can't stand seeing you like this, but who am I? I can't do a thing...

I love looking at you from afar...

I really wish your happiness, but somehow, I'm getting selfish. I really want you to myself. 

Yeah, I'm a sinful person.

Maybe loving you is another sin of mine.

I don't deserve this happiness.

I deserve sorrow, despair.

All the cheerfulness, it's a lie.

A LIE.

USO DA. USO DA. USO. USO USO.

Kiriha, on the verge of tears.